I wrote my journal over a year ago, since then i've changed a lot. I haven't been so active on d-a, Ive been busy with life. All I Can say is wow time does really fly.

Right now i dont even know what i should be talking about cause really 2009 all just seems like a blur. A lot of stuff has happened good/bad, i dont know. Ive cleared my mind and its really empty though my problems stay in the back of the head I am in control of them and they do not affect me in any way. Just inside that box.

I want to make a new account, this account will always stay open. but i want to create a new account a new fresh one and i should start behaving and maturing up. I do act like im an idiot time to time, i think thats because of the way i have grown up. The attitude of I DONT GIVE A FUCK. when really, i always have. Everyone says fuck what others say about you, but the truth is we all do. Appreciation and aknowledgement is one of the thing that proove you have self acctualised.

Today i look at the past and think, wow the world has changed, even d-a has changed. The internet is so open and things are changing everyone must adapt to this and become better equipped to deal with change. I want to thank everyone that today has supported and continues to support me, Some people wrote some amazing stuff that opened my eyes.

Maybe im a emotional guy to these things but i do realise that for me to become the man i must be able to deal with what makes me weak and make them my strenghts. I've seen a lot of shit in my life, growing up in gang culture i thought i try being a bad boy. It dont work, the people i associate with all have stories about the drugs and the fights and the guns but really secretly i wish to taste this life. Only so that people fear me and that no one ever pisses me off or bad mouths me. To have the money so that no one can ever call me poor. to have money so i can atleast support my mother who brought me to this world. A lot of shit hangs on our shoulders as kids and now as i step into being a man realise that i can no longer act like a teen, im going to be 19 soon.

Even in my art, even though i never really liked school/college. It has taught me a lot. I want to become a graphics designer. I no longer wish to carry on in loops of web design. I want to make work where people will be like wow. But this time instead of looking at others work and geting angry cause i could not even imagine how to create work like them, Im going to creat work that i feel i have worked very hard for and i know that it is a representation of my skills.


When i create a new account i will personally message all those that have supported me and hopefully be able to show them great work.


Thankyou very much